Tales from the Litterbox: Episode 8

Beta: Hi everybody, remember me? Beta (The Cat)!
Lynx: And how could they forget your wonderful and fluffy co-host!
Beta: Who?
Lynx: It's me, Lynx of course!
Beta: Oh, you said wonderful, I guess that kinda threw me off. I like to think of you as annoying.
Lynx: C'mon Beta, it's the holidays. Let's just be nice, ok?
Beta: I'll try, but I'm not making any promises!
Lynx: OK! What if Tibby's friends don't remember us, Beta? We haven't invaded Tibby's blog since May!
Beta: Well Lynx, I guess they could click here to see all our other posts.
Lynx: Cool! So what are we doing today?
Beta: Today we are going to share a holiday poem with everyone like Tibby did last year!
Lynx: Neato! Our poem is for Santa Claws:

Beta: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house...
Lynx: Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse...
Beta: Because I chased, caught and left it right there on the stairs...
Lynx: It was my present to The Owners Servants but they didn't care...
Beta: All the peoples were snuggled nice and warm in their beds...
Lynx: While we meowed and scratched and jumped on their heads...
Beta: We whapped at the ornaments and swatted the lights...
Lynx: We climbed and we jumped as we reached brand new heights...
Beta: We pooped in the basement and jumped on the table...
Lynx: We would have caught a few birds if we were able...
Beta: We climbed in the bathtub and drank faucet drips...
Lynx: We walked on the cars and left cute little mud prints...
Beta: But don't worry Santa Claws, we've been good little cats...
Lynx: We let The Owners Servants feed us and give us some pats...
Beta: We even rubbed and purred for them one time or two...
Lynx: So Santa Claws here's what we're asking from you...
Beta: I'd like some cat nip and a fun scratchy scratcher...
Lynx: While I want a treehouse and some balls to chase after...
Beta: And also some kitty kibble to fill up our tummies...
Lynx: And some cat treats too, we think they're real yummy...
Beta: And bring us some snuggly clean clothes to sleep on...
Lynx: And some feather to whap, oh wait, we're not done...
Beta: Some cans of tuna would make us quiet happy...
Lynx: And lots of sunshine to lay in while napping...
Beta: Santa Claws, there is one more thing we think you should hear...
Lynx: And that is how naughty Tibby's been this year...
Beta: She jumped on our guests and barked at the neighbors...
Lynx: Plus she is gross, she ate toilet papers...
Beta: She chased after us cats and puked in the car...
Lynx: And she acts like a diva, she thinks she's a star...
Beta: She took up more bed space than any dog should...
Lynx: She slobbered on The Owners Servants as much as she could...
Beta: So when you pack up your sleigh please do remember...
Lynx: How good we both were January to December...
Beta: And also how bad that scruffy dog was...
Lynx: You can bring her one toy or bone just because...
Beta: Now Santa Claws please have a safe trip...
Lynx: And whatever you do, don't forget the catnip!

Beta: I think we did a great job don't you Lynx?
Lynx: Oh yes! That is an excellent poem to Santa Claws.
Beta: Probably the best I've ever heard!
Lynx: Me too! But I think we forgot something...
Beta: I know! (whispurs to Lynx)
BOTH: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT! (publishes post)